Who are you?
by BlueOcean44
Summary: Revolves around the Jane from episode 4x10 "Fugue in Red". He constantly focuses on Lisbon and wants to date her. Plus he is a huge annoyance to everyone. "So tell me again why we aren't sleeping together?" Jane/Lisbon
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know that I shouldn't be starting a new story, but I can't help it. This one is fun to write. It takes place during episode 4x10 "Fugue in red". It shows more in depth how Jane would've acted around Lisbon and the team. Hope you like it!

"So tell me again why we aren't sleeping together."

Lisbon's eyes almost popped out of her head. _Are you kidding me? He was already back to that. And in front of the team! Could he be anymore_ _of an_ _annoyance? _"Well, for one I'm your boss. It would be totally unprofessional and inappropriate. And two, this conversation is over." She threw her papers on the conference table and headed for the break room. She heard his footsteps quickly following and rolled her eyes. _Damn it, no matter who he remembered himself to be he was still a pain in the ass. _

He whispered in her ear, "But are you really my boss? I'm not a cop. I'm just the psychic. You really have no serious control over me" he replied with the biggest smirk she had ever seen.

"You know what-" She turned on her heel so fast that he didn't have time to stop walking and rammed right into her. She lost her footing and could feel gravity pushing her down. But like magic, his strong hands wrapped around her skimpy arms to hold her in place. Her mouth was open and she was speechless.

"I know that you're a very beautiful woman and I'm...well, I'm quite an attractive man. Especially based on the looks of desire I've been receiving from all the females around here. You must be attracted to me. I can tell that you want me by the blush thats currently creeping up your neck." His eyes roamed over her chest, neck, and face. He locked eyes with her. "The only thing I can't decipher is whether we've already slept together or not." He took a step back and let go of her, "but I'm quite positive I would remember what you looked like naked."

She heard someone burst into a coughing fit somewhere behind her. _Shit. Who_ _is it. Who. Who. Who! _She squeezed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked up at Jane to see him studying her with a huge grin. She turned herself around only to find a man hunched over the counter, still coughing.

Jane beat her to him. "Well hello there agent. I'm deeply sorry my colleague and I startled you." Jane started to lightly pat the poor guy on the back. "We were simply discussing our sex lives outside this office. Surely you can understand the raw male desires that our dear Agent Lisbon clearly ignites in the men around here."

The man swiftly smacked Jane's arm away, while turning to face Lisbon. _Are_ _you kidding me?!...Wainwright!_ "Agent Lisbon what is going on here? Please tell me this is some kind of silly prank?" He looked totally unamused.

"I...um...Sir...Jane, here isn't exactly himself right now. He um-"

Jane cut her off, "What she's trying to say is I just got out of the hospital and I'm experiencing a little bought of memory loss...a fugue to be exact. Tell me, do you know if Agent Lisbon and I are sleeping together?" Jane got his face closer to Wainwrights.

"Jane! Shut up!" She sent him a death glare. Then she addressed Wainwright, "Sir, we aren't sleeping together, like I've already told him earlier. He is confused and doesn't realize what he's saying."

"This isn't some kind of carnival or daytime television show, Mr. Jane. It's a serious workplace with officers of the law, who are obviously expected to follow the law. There is not nor will there be any future fraternization going on between the two of you. Am I understood Agent Lisbon?"

"Of course Sir. Yes."

"And what about you Mr. Jane? Do you understand what I just said?"

"Oh sure, I understand but I'm not entirely sure that I agree. It would kind of be a crime in and of itself to let such an enticing woman go to waste", Jane answered. "You've had to notice. Come on, unless you're blind?", he added.

_What. The. Hell. Jane_. Lisbon was going to take him into her office and shoot him. But first, duct tape his mouth so he could never embarrass her like this again! Wainwright stood speechless.

Lisbon and Wainwright continued to stare at the floor with wide eyes, while Jane observed them both with amusement.

"...uh...Boss?", said a new voice.

Lisbon was sill stunned and continued processing what had just transpired.

"Is this a bad time?" Rigsby looked at all three of their faces and instantly felt uncomfortable.

Lisbon's brain snapped back to reality. _Yes! An interruption!_ "No! Go ahead... What is it?", she may have said a little too eagerly.

"We got a lead on the BOLO from earlier. Just wanted to let you know."

"Great...yes, great. Lets go." Lisbon started to follow Rigsby towards the bullpen. She abruptly ran back and grabbed Jane by the arm, "time to go, Jane." She risked a peak at Wainwright, "sorry Sir, duty calls" she gave him a tight smile and disappeared with Jane.

TBC. This story is fun to write. I've always wanted to see Lisbon's reaction to Jane making sexual comments towards her. Let me know what you think and if you want to swe any kind of scene in particular. thanks for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

"You guys go ahead. Cho you can handle it, right?" Lisbon didn't wait for a response. She grabbed a fistful of Jane's shirt and pulled him with her into her office. She then slammed the door and threw him against it. "What the hell was that? Jane! He is our boss!" She started pacing in front of him.

He couldn't help but smile, she was cute when she turned angry. "Oh what are we doing in here? Are you going to have your way with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows teasingly at her.

"You can't act like that around here. It isn't funny. This is my job and I want to be taken seriously." She shook her head at him.

He stepped towards her, "Teresa, please settle down. Why don't you relax?" He swiftly snuck behind her and started to guide her towards the chair.

"Don't patronize me Jane! And stop touching me. " She dodged his wandering hands by running around the desk.

"Teresa, why don't you call me Patrick. We've known each other for five years now, correct?" He stopped his movements and put his hands up in a sign of surrender.

"Well yes, but I've always called you Jane. We are work partners. That's what we do."

"How about this? You agree to go out with me and I stop with all the workplace shenanigans." He moved closer to her again.

She backed away slowly and fell into her chair. "What does go out with you mean?"

"It means that you put on a skimpy dress and I take you to dinner. There also may be dancing."

Somehow, Jane ended up behind her again. He started to slowly massage her shoulders. "I don't think so", she said in a throaty whisper.

He knew her defenses were crumbling. "Teresa, let me take care of you." He dug his hands deeper on her shoulders. "You're feeling relaxed. You deserve to feel this way. My hands are taking away all of your stressors. Ten, nine, eight...when I get to one you will feel completely at ease. Seven, six, five...you're feeling warmth spread throughout your body. Four, three, two...you're in a steaming tub with bubbles and the scent of vanilla, drinking red wine. Are you feeling good?"

"Mhmmm." Her head lolled forward as Jane's delicate fingers lightly pressed her neck.

He smiled knowingly, "one".

Lisbon's whole body tilted forward as her eyes fluttered closed. Jane caught her, which prevented her from smacking her face onto the desk. He eased her back on the chair and knelt down to whisper in her ear, "Teresa. Can you hear me?"

"Yea", she said lightly.

"What do you think about your consultant Jane?" He inquired.

Her nose scrunched up, "he's a pain in the ass most of the time. I always have to fix the problems he creates."

He didn't like that answer. "What about Patrick outside of work? More specifically, Patrick as a man. What do you think of him then?"

Her mouth gradually turned upwards into a smile. "He's really hot." She bit her lip, "he's tan, soft curls, and great body", she replied dreamily.

"Really? Why don't you go out with him then?" He didn't understand why she continued to resist him.

"It's inappropriate. I'm his boss and...and." Her breathing rate was increasing.

"Teresa it's alright. You're safe, you can te- " All of the sudden her eyelids popped open and he ended up flat on his back laying on the floor.

"You son of a bitch! You tried to hypnotize me into going out with you!" Her office chair spun backwards and hit the wall. "Get out! Right now. Get out. Get out. Get out!" She strutted angrily to her office door and left him alone.

Jane didn't know what happened. He put a hand to his face. She had punched him in the nose and he didn't even realize it. Her reflexes were lightning fast. She also knocked the wind out of his lungs. He was stunned. She was so strong for such a small woman.

The door swung open hesitantly. Cho, followed by Rigsby, rushed in and picked Jane up off the floor. Cho with his usual stoic expression and Rigsby smirking, yet trying to hide it. "Hey guys, thanks for helping me out here. Where's Teresa?"

Cho shook his head at Jane and addressed Rigsby, "Let's go".

"What? Where are we going?" Jane didn't know what was happening.

They successfully walked him out of the office and were now making their way to the elevator. "We are taking you home, man", Rigsby told him.

"Teresa?", Jane yelled into the bullpen as the elevator doors closed.

Cho tossed a napkin at Jane "clean yourself up." He pressed the top floor button on the elevator.

"You're bleeding", Rigsby gestured to Jane's nose.

The guys arrived at Jane's attic space. "This is your place."

"Okay guys I know Teresa is pissed, but come on. You don't have to punish me."

"Dude she isn't pissed; she's livid. We aren't punishing you. You actually do live here. But you didn't have to take advantage of her like that", Rigsby told him.

"We know that you are a talented psychic. You shouldn't have used that against her", Cho added.

Jane started to laugh. "What is this? Are you her two big brothers?" Jane looked back and forth between Cho and Rigsby.

"It's harder than usual for her to handle you." Rigsby explained.

"Handle me?" Jane smiled devilishly. "How does she handle me?"

"Get it through your head: you and Lisbon aren't sleeping together. Especially with the way you are now", Cho said gesturing to Jane.

"Fine. Fine. How do I get her into bed then? Surely one of you must know? Ever hit that?" Jane looked at both men.

The two agents glanced at him with disgust. They backed away and reentered the elevator. They arrived back in the bullpen.

Rigsby went to tell Lisbon that they successfully removed Jane, "boss-"

She wasn't in her office. He backtracked to their desks. "Where's boss?" He looked at VanPelt.

"She wasn't feeling well. She went home. I think she's really upset about Jane. She just wants him back to his normal self." VanPelt's face was full of sadness.

"I can understand that. He's a total jack ass now. I'm happy that she punched him. How long do you think it's going to take for him to remember?"

"I don't know. I hope soon. Maybe I should help him try to remember."

"No", Cho chimed in. "That's the last thing you want. He will start asking you out too. We don't want to deal with that."

"You're right." She nodded her head in agreement.

Ring. Ring. "Cho", he said into the phone on his desk. "What? Damn it. We're coming." He jumped up and ran for the stairs while telling Rigsby and VanPelt to follow. "Jane's been shot".

They followed up the stairs with looks of disbelief.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry about the delay! Real life has gotten in the way. I can't believe the mentalist doesn't come back until March! The last episode was so cute, especially with all of the jisbon moments 3

Response to dadby: No, Lisbon and Wainwright didn't sleep together. Although, It could've been interesting if they did.

They rushed up the stairs with guns drawn. "Call Lisbon", Cho ordered VanPelt.

They approached the door and signaled to each other with hand gestures. Then, Rigsby ripped open the door while Cho took a defensive stance.

"What the hell?", Rigsby commented. The lights were on, but Jane wasn't even in the room.

"Jane? Where are you?", Cho tried to whisper. They moved further into the room and spread out. Just then Cho remembered the room had access to the roof. "Outside", Cho gestured with his head.

They hesitantly walked outside, guns ready to fire. Jane was laying on his back with a gunshot to his right hip.

"Jane...who shot you?" Rigsby asked while staying alert.

"Finally! What took you so long?" Jane chimed in.

"Shhhhhh", Rigsby hushed him.

"Really guys its no big deal. My hip is a bother though. Where's Teresa? Can you tell her I need help?" Jane asked.

"Jane, this is serious. Who shot you?", Cho asked.

"To be honest, I don't know. Sniper I would assume", he replied nonchalantly.

Cho and Rigsby hit the ground immediately. "Someone shot you from far away?! You don't know who it was?" Rigsby was freaking out.

"Teresa..she needs to be here. I want her to kiss it better", he was laughing. The agents started dragging Jane inside. "Woah woah woah guys. I appreciate it, but watch the suit."

"Someone is trying to kill you. We've gotta take cover", Rigsby informed Jane.

VanPelt stopped in the doorway with the paramedics. "How the hell did that ass hole get shot inside a place full of agents?" The medics asked her. She ignored them and asked the guys, "What's happening?" She was worried now.

"Grace, stay back! Someone shot Jane from another building!", Rigsby replied breathlessly. It was difficult pulling another person, while crawling on the floor. They were almost inside the door. VanPet helped them drag Jane the rest of the way.

They stood up and let the medics help him.

"Did you get a hold of Lisbon?", Rigsby looked at VanPelt expectantly.

"Yea, she's on her way. Who would shoot Jane?", VanPet questioned.

"Good. Seriously? Who wouldn't want to shoot him?" ,Cho said.

Before anyone could reply Lisbon rushed in. "Oh my god! What happened?" She looked accusingly at her team.

They all shrugged.

"Teresa, hey", Jane's face lit up. He tried siting up.

"Lay down. What happened?" She pushed him back lightly.

"I don't know. Someone is still trying to kill me, I guess", he replied unconcerned. "But more importantly-"

"You didn't see anyone?"

"Okay we gotta get him to the hospital now", the medics told her. They started to lift Jane.

"No, I refuse to go. You can't take me without my permission." Jane shook his head at them.

"Jane, what the hell! Yes you are going." Lisbon was growing worried.

"Nope. I'll only go if you agree to go out with me." He was serious.

"Agent Lisbon, he needs surgery. We have to go", the medics told her.

"I..." She didn't know what to do.

"I can't wait here all day. I'm dying Lisbon. I need you to agree before I can even think about going to the hospital." Jane looked at her expectantly.

"Jane...this isn't funny." Lisbon's hands were shaking.

"Tick, tock...tick, tock...ti-"

"Fine, yes. You win, I'll go out with you." Her eyes were watery. "Please just go to the hospital."

He nodded his head, "good we can go now. See you later for our date Teresa." And the medics took him away, while the team stood unmoving. He was truly unbelievable.

**TBC, thank you all for the follows and reviews :) **


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